My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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