Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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