Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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