So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize