the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
