hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Panties = found
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