"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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