Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
