Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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