No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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