There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
