Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
