And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
