Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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