i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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