you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There's always time for handjobs
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm both gender and math confused
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
