It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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