Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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