He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
