Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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