You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
