He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
