return my video game
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
