Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize