Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
