I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
