we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
