Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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