My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I cannot find my penis.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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