We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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