Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
