I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
there's paper in my vomit.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
