Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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