So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
