there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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