I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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