Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize