Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
