Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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