How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
