the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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