I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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