naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
