Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
