the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
