Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
