I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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