I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he thought i was a dude.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
