singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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