The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
