So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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