if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Randomize
