You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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