wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
