U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
