never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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