I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
