Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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