dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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