My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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