So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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