oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
