When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
