omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
