please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
