dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
