I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
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