We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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