Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
