AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
