I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize